You had that same look you always give when you want to hold my hand and never let me go.
When you wish we could stop time and escape into the world we've once created.
When you wish you could turn back time and turn things around.
When you wish you could tell me that everything was a mistake, and that you love me.
Only we both know how i know that look so well.

You don't want forgiveness from me. You want redemption.
If you could kiss me again, this time you won't let me go.
If you could talk to me again, this time you would stay up all night in euphoric silence.

But this time, i won't give in. Some things are just meant to be lost forever.

We were supposed to be Bonnie&Clyde.
Look where we are now.




You sat by the curb watching me walk out of starbucks with someone else.
Someone who i care about now.

Please dont call.

my uncle bought my cousin nurul a car
and she's just 22.
how awesome is that!
im so jealous)))):

ADILAH. go learn driving!!



im such a lazy bugger.

a picnic and a twister game at the botanics.
i think that was a pretty sweet evening<3

I guess it was.

But most of it went to school, worrying and stresses.
And despite the crazy start, 2009 ended with whimper instead of a bang.

Its the year of silent scandals and broken promises.
Disappointments, tears and confusion.
Even if i was elated, i feel that i remained elated for just a mere while.

Its the year I lost faith in the things that were once so important to me.

I think 2010 will be even crazier.
My girls and I will be in different places by the end of this year. And with about only two months to go, everything seems so scary and uncertain. I have always been so well-organised, so prepared and so well-planned. But 2009 totally turned what i knew about my whole life, all around.

Its like for the first time, I have to constantly remind myself to take it one step at a time. And its difficult when you're getting by each day, trying to squeeze every amount of faith you have left in yourself.

As for now, i've got my internship to focus on and that upcoming ambassador interview im hoping i will get. Please please please, tell me i'd get it. Please. I'd never thought I would get nominated, now I'd wish I had taken everything seriously from the beginning. And i so want to find a job like farina's. Its so fun lah pls. At least, that's what i think, for reasons only we know. haha! (((((:

okay whatever.

hello 2010.
please be nice to me.

i flew to KL over the weekend and felt good about it.



i miss my father.

We've been so busy this break that we only managed to go for one getaway at banyan tree. Its a truly awesome 5-star resort with complete privacy, room facing the sea and sumptuous halal food. its so exclusive and they drive you around the resort itself!(: trust me hons, you dont have to walk even for abit at all. we have our own private jacuzzi and there's a hallway in the toilet itself, thats how big the washroom is! who needs a bathtub when you have your own jacuzzi facing the sea babes. and when you leave the room at night for dinner, you will be surprised to return with the room prep up for bedtime with cookies and chocolate on the bed already set for you. plus outside the resort, you have your own VIP chauffeur to take you around town. it was an amazing experience.

but it came at a thousand dollars a night.
loaded, luxurious and luxious.
perfect.



this is by far my favourite picture of all. makes you feel cast away.


each roof you see here represents a villa that you will get all to yourself.
yup, a whole villa to yourself.







entrance to our villa


showers at the private pool










below is a distant snapshot of a private dining area for couples on the rocks at the corner of the island, with a private spa retreat.
SEXXY!






google banyantree.com

anisa. adilah. dian.

i dont know how anisa can pull off that hot 1.75 m of a body
i dont know how dian can pull off those 6 inch heels
and i dont know how i can survive a night out with 2 gorgeously drunken models.

we'll make a date again.